Initiating Good Sex – Best Ideas, Tips, Tricks and Techniques: Bedroom Games Series
People are finding it tough in reaching out to the partners it comes to initiating sex to spice up the bedroom games.
This article has been carefully researched into to give you a few of the best tips, tricks, techniques to overcome the pressures that come to bear whenever the call to duty is at hand.
And more especially when the mood strikes, many of us wish we could skip the initiating part and get right down to it. But unfortunately, most partners need that wake up call to get ready to report for duty in the bedroom.
However, initiating lovemaking can be an important step toward a better sex life.
Now read on to learn more…
Initiating sex can sometimes make you feel vulnerable and exposed because it opens you up to the possibility of getting rejected; your partner applying the usual excuses for not wanting to have sex: ‘oh I’m tired, I’m not in the mood tonight, I’m not feeling too well tonight, I’m still angry at you’.
With some communication and understanding with your partner, you can better appreciate that turning down sex is not a personal rejection, it’s not quite as daunting as you may be thinking.
The goal of initiating good sex in the bedroom is not just to have sex… thats far from it. When someone initiates sex, they usually want their partner to want it too.
Remember that your partner might have different sexual desires than you do at the time of calling them to duty.
With sex, what gets you excited may be a complete turn-off for them, so if you’re unsure about how to initiate sex with your partner, the first step is to talk about it; just say it like it is for starters.
Remember that communication is the key to every successful relationship, so don’t ever think its unimportant.
Many have relegated communication in relationships to the back burner, hence the stalemate in their sex lives.
The importance of initiating sex
Everyone in a relationship wants to feel desired. A common phenomenon among couples in long-term relationships is that they experience a dry spell in which neither partner is initiating sex at all.
Whatever the reasons may be, this leaves both people feeling undesired, and wondering why the other partner doesn’t want to come up close.
Folks, the solution is quite simple, but not necessarily easy at that. You must constantly work at it.
It requires an open dialogue about sex between the two partners.
Talking about initiation preferences, preferred frequency of having sex, types of touch that do and don’t make you feel good, and more, can really improve your sex life, which can do wonders for your relationship.
Whatever the problem, you must open up and talk about it dispassionately (not showing, and not affected by, emotion, bias, or prejudice).
One of you must take up the responsibility to start the dialogue.
Sex is a very powerful thing; it brings people closer together. It creates an emotional, physical, and spiritual bond between partners in a relationship.
On a purely biological level, sex causes the release of oxytocin, which gives you that warm, fuzzy, post-sex high; that feeling of being very sexed up and feeling good about yourself.
It’s that glow in a woman’s eyes the morning after a good night of bliss.
So folks, here are a few tips, tricks and techniques on how to initiate sex.
Also remember that how you choose to initiate sex should be in line with your partner’s initiation preference.
By now you should know how your partner reacts to sex if you have been in that relationship for a while now.
Keep these questions at the back of your mind while preparing your partner for a good night of sex.
Does your partner prefer verbal or physical invitations to sex?
Does he or she want to be approached subtly (e.g., flirting, “accidental” touching, etc.) or directly (“you wanna have sex?”)?
Does your partner like to be surprised or rather be prepared? Lots of women claim they hate it when they are fast asleep only to be awoken because of sex, so be very tactful about it.
The answers to these questions should give you a good idea about which of the following creative ways to initiate lovemaking will work best for you and your partner.
Verbalize your desire for your partner. There’s a big difference between thinking that your partner wants to have sex because they’re horny or because they desire you specifically.
Make your partner feel special with compliments, dirty talk, and reminders about how much they mean to you.
Straight to the point
Approach them directly… Sometimes a simple “You in the mood for a quickie?” can go a long way. Just ask them and you may be quite surprised by the speed at which they answer the request.
Build up the desire with a nuzzle here and a squeeze there. People who prefer subtle physical initiation might enjoy being hugged, stroked, kissed, or massaged to get in the mood.
If you realise your partner responds well to a particular way, just hammer it there and don’t change it just yet.
If your partner appreciates spontaneity, you can be demanding about what you want, physically or verbally. Try a push up against a wall and start making out. Climb on top of them in front of the TV and strip. Command them to take their pants off and get ready for duty.
You have no idea how some of these little little things could open up a whole new experience for both of you. Be innovative and try out new things!
What are you holding in your hand right now, a phone; so why not employ it’s power?
A long and slow buildup can be very hot for those who like to be prepared for sex.
Start early in the day with a flirty message, and make the messages ‘dirtier’ as the day progresses.
There is a famous Akan proverb which goes like this: “Se agro be so anadjo a, afri anopa”. It simply means; if the game would be good at night… the build up must start in the morning. So make that move right now baby!
Get naked in bed
This can be a good method when you find it difficult to use verbal or physical cues, but you’d like to get your partner in the mood.
Try stripping down and hop into your partner’s side of the bed. Then call him on his phone to leave the TV and come into the bedroom. Most men like such surprises you know… so try it and see the wonders that follow.
Take a shower together
If your partner just got in the shower, it may be a good time to decide that you suddenly need to shower too.
Just take your clothes off and get in there, join him or her, together you can soap up and have romantic shower together to prepare for moments of pleasure afterwards.
Get a prop
Buy something new to spice up your life in the bedroom. It can be a new sex toy, a flavored lube, an exciting bedroom game, a romantic movie or even a book.
Wrap it up nicely and present it to your partner or leave it somewhere conspicuous for them to discover.
Employ some humour
You can agree on a silly signal or take an inside joke and run with it.
Sometimes employing a little humour is the best way to get things going crazy in the bedroom.
Try texting your partner to ask what they’re doing; afterwards respond by writing back to say “Well, I just bought a new outfit, and I wanted to show you how I look without it on.” isn’t that funny?
Try other funny tricks which makes your partner laugh out loud. The grand idea is to keep things well oiled for the best bedroom games.
Sometimes all it takes to improve your sex life is to follow through with your desires by keeping things well initiated in a way your partner will love and enjoy.
Sex-positive dialogues can also help you find out how well your partner likes to get into the mood.
If you get turned down once in a while, don’t take it too personally. Just make sure you didn’t overstep any boundaries, and try again another time.
Jimmy Cliff once said… You can get if you really want it, so you must keep trying and you would definitely succeed at last.
Sources of Information:
Personal interviews and interaction